"Que sera sera , whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see. Que sera, sera. What will be, will be."
I was born like every other angelic baby to my beautiful Mother. I was blessed to be cuddled, loved, cared and hugged by my parents and my Siblings. Life kept getting bigger and better. Nothing seemed impossible. I was told I could even touch the sky. I jumped and trust me I felt I was on top of the world.
I have three lovable sisters who always adored me and a brother who always loved to get on my nerves. My mum was fed-up with our tantrums. Fortunately, I never got whacked nor did my brother. My brother was my favorite, he taught me to ride a bicycle,to play Cricket and he taught me to dress like a boy. Basically, he made me a tough girl. I owe every credit to him.
My mum has been my fortress at every step in my life. It's amazing how Mothers have the right intuition while we follow our own instincts and meet disasters. However, life is not an easy ride. We learn from our experience and attain the wisdom through our elders.
My father was an amazing person to us and to the world. Everyone loved him for his simplicity and meekness. He always drove us everywhere, everywhere we wanted to go. He treated us at our favorite restaurant, walked with us by the sea shore. We prayed together, sang songs together. He had an overwhelming heart full of love and no false pride.
Life was a colorful splash of colors, all so vibrant and splendid. The colors in our life didn't last for too long. It is said that " Death comes like a thief in the dark". Alas, life turned dark and grey. Daddy died and passed away in July,1993. He left for his journey to the heavenly abode. Daddy died when I was ten years old, my mum was still a young mother, my sisters had just graduated and brother was still studying.
The clouds were always luminous to me because my mum never made me feel that our world had changed overnight. I still enjoyed all the privileges as the youngest sibling and since I was daddy's little girl, the love and affection from everyone intensified. Mumma hugged me more often, my sisters showered me with gifts and my brother continued to bully me and he always tried his stunts to annoy me. I hated it than but looking back, I love him every bit for whatever he did.
I missed Daddy, I missed his presence in our new home. We shifted in our big new home in 1993. I missed Daddy driving us down to places, I missed daddy teaching me to ride our new non-geared bike, I missed daddy during dinner time, I missed him at dinner, I missed him when we prayed and I missed him like crazy.
The years somehow passed by, I got busy with school exams, extra classes, friends, basketball practices, and other things. Mum was the only one closest to me as by the time I started college, my sisters were married, my brother stretched out his wings and flew to places to be the bread winner. He has a heart just like my father. At times, I wander if God placed my Father's heart in him. My brother is a sensitive-loving person. He has always been protective and kept me safe from any trouble makers. I have never feared anything because I knew I could count on him all the time.
After Graduation, my mum enrolled me in a special one year course that would give me wings to fly. Mum fulfilled my dreams even though the course fees seemed impossible.
I followed my dreams, I did all that I wanted to do, good and bad, I laughed, I cried...
Eventually, I met the man of my dreams. The man who swept me off my feet and the man who carried me home after we were happily married.
It has been six months since we've been married. My husband is my best friend. I love him with all my heart. My mum couldn't ask anything more. He loves me, adores me and pampers me all the time.
I miss my mum who's away from me. She lives alone in that same beautiful home we shifted in 1993. The same home where I spend my childhood and my teenage years, the same home where I left as an adult to try my luck in life.
Looking behind, so many things have changed after daddy died. So much has changed after my sisters got married. So much changed since I moved to Mumbai.
But my mother's heart has not changed a bit. She is still beautiful and still tries to substitute our father's love. She never made me feel incomplete. She walked by my side when I wore that long white gown on my wedding day. She held my hand very firmly while giving me away at the church. My heart cried for my beautiful mother. I knew she was hiding her tears, I knew she was missing Daddy. I knew her life had changed yet again.
I admire my mother for being a strong fortress and for never giving-up when the ride seemed to be bumpy and impossible to sustain. I admire her for living alone in our beautiful home where memories keep flooding. I guess she's holding on to all those beautiful memories of our yester years. She's holding on to us. she's holding on to the love that made us and the love that will never break us.
My mum always sang this song for me, it's still my favorite.
"Que sera sera , whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see. Que sera, sera. What will be, will be."
I love you mom... I love you Grace, Sandra, Fernanda and my dear brother, Savio. Last, but not the least, I love you my darling husband, Denzil.
***************THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME********************
